Season 4 Episode 11: How Do I Navigate the Holiday Season with IBS?
Happy Holidays! This is such an exciting time of the year, and I really want to dedicate this episode to answer all your questions about surviving the holidays. Whether you celebrate the holidays or not, these are great tips to incorporate at any gathering. During this episode, I talk about why IBS symptoms get worse during the holidays, how to cope with the fear of symptoms flaring during the holidays and how to communicate your food needs!
In this episode, we cover:
You have autonomy over the choices you make
Why symptoms get worse around the holiday season
The impact of losing sleep
How to deal with travel and emotions during the holidays
Determine your priorities and how to reinforce them
Coping with the fear of symptoms
Communicating your food needs
Dealing with the change in weather and daylight
Don’t forget to connect to others in The GUT Community, a Facebook group for those with IBS and digestive disorders to support one another and dive deeper into each episode together.
What if you could develop vital skills to help manage intrusive IBS symptoms in only 10 minutes a day? How would your life change? Today’s episode is sponsored by Mahana, an app that teaches you skills to manage your IBS and decrease symptom severity. Through the app, you’ll get short daily lessons and experiment with new skills, unlock tools to support your symptom management, and learn to make small changes to improve everyday patterns. Get started now and download the app at mahanatx.com/TheGutShow.
I want to start today's episode by saying happy holiday season! Whatever holidays that you celebrate, or you don't celebrate, or even if it's just a fall and winter weather that you're celebrating, I'm wishing you the best for the rest of the season, and I’m really excited to be able to kind of wrap up this season of the podcast going into the holiday season with you all!
Today's episode is answering your question that I get asked often around this time of year, and that is, how do you survive the holiday season with IBS? My short answer is going to probably make some of you want to punch me in the face, but it is prioritize what you need and stick to those priorities. The long answer is a lot more detailed than that and there's a lot more to it than that, so we're gonna go through a lot of different pieces of the puzzle with the holiday season, things that you can think about.
What I always like to say, as we start something like this, where I'm giving you tips and ideas and tricks that you can use, is you have autonomy over the choices that you get to make for yourself. And some of that does mean yes, you carry the responsibility of that, but that aside, you also have the ability to choose to do a tip and a trick and try it out, or you have the choice to not and you are not less than you are not irresponsible, you are not guilty, you're not whatever may come to mind that has a negative connotation if you choose not to implement any of the tips.
I think there's a lot of power and knowledge and understanding how things might contribute to symptoms and how you know, these different layers work together. But if you decide that just having that knowledge and understanding is good enough for you so that you don't wonder what's contributing, awesome, you do not have to make a single change and I don't want you to feel that way. My goal for this podcast in this episode is to hopefully enlighten you with a few ideas and different thoughts, but also give you some tools that you can choose to use if you want to.
Now if you hate this topic, and you're like I am already over talking about holidays, today's episode may not be for you. And so you may decide to go listen to a different episode from the podcast. But if you are really excited about the season, and you want to make the most of it, and also keep your gut happy, then this episode may be helpful. And you might also have things that you'd add, so as always, I always welcome that.
So let's get into why symptoms actually get worse during the season. I think, you know, there's a lot of this that we know and it's pretty obvious, but there are some things that you may not realize. And I think a lot of people, they get really confused when the holiday season ramps up because it's like why are my symptoms worse, why do I feel this way? And there's so many compounding factors here.
One is travel. And that's if you travel or not, you know that whether it's by plane or by car, or how much you travel, that can vary, but travel itself can make symptoms worse. We do have an episode earlier in the season where we talked all about travel and we went over why that happens. There is stress, good and not so good stress that can come from the family time, plans, maybe even financial stress of buying gifts for people if you're doing that, or whatever may come from all those things. The stress of ending the year, if you are in a job where you have end of year goals and you're reviewing those, or maybe trying to wrap up tasks before the holidays come and before breaks, then that's going to create more stress. If you're a student with finals, all of that comes into play.
The emotional and the mental stress if your family is maybe difficult to be around, or maybe you've lost family or loved ones and so you're dealing with some of that grief and the kind of that mental and emotional stress that comes along with grieving and experiencing a holiday where you don't have that person anymore. I've walked through that myself with losing my dad and it is very hard and something that you may not even foresee happening or even realize is happening until your body starts to respond to it. That can be huge during this time of year.
Even the excitement for some people, again the stress is not always a bad thing, but that excitement that you feel and you know the giddiness and the joy and all of that can actually contribute to more symptoms.
The secondary behaviors that you may use due to sadness or stress, so the coping behaviors, and that might look like you know, not eating for some and skipping meals and under nutrition. It may look like binge patterns or like eating a lot of comfort foods in kind of a binge like way that contributes to more symptoms. Maybe it looks like staying up later because you're sad or maybe staying in bed late or not moving your body as much. It could also look like the certain foods that you gravitate towards that might trigger symptoms more or it can even look like exercise. Some people will cope with high intensity exercise almost like a way to punish their body or distract themselves, and those behaviors can also control reach for symptoms, as well as alcohol and maybe drug use if you're trying to kind of numb those feelings that you're having, those can also contribute to more set symptoms.
In addition to that, meals that are outside of your norm, that happens a lot during the holidays, because this is a time that is notorious for parties and hangouts and potlucks and all these traditional meals and things that maybe are outside of your control, where if you eat out maybe once or twice a week, now you might be eating out and eating things that you haven't made multiple times a week. During like an actual holiday time, it might be every day of the week with every meal in the day, so there's a lot more meals that may be outside of your norm and you may not have as much of that recovery time after or those meals may take up the whole day versus just kind of single meals throughout.
There may be more heavy meals, especially some of these traditional recipes. I grew up in the southern part of the United States, from Arkansas fellow Arkansans, and Southern cooking is kind of heavy and that's what I grew up on. A lot of the traditional recipes that my family uses are much heavier, and they're meant to be right? They are comfort, they're really satisfying, like the fat component of the meals is, is such a kind of satisfying, joyful, comforting thing, but having so much of that, and having it day after day after day, if you're not used to that, that can be a lot for the gut to process and be just kind of heavy on the body, which can contribute to more symptoms.
More alcohol for some if you are someone who enjoys alcohol or your family drinks alcohol, or whenever you go to these gatherings or parties, there's a lot more alcohol present, that could be a piece. I think something that isn't talked about enough is also caffeine as well as additives to these things. So like traditional kind of cocktails might be a lot sweeter, or even eggnog which has more dairy in it. Or if you're going for let's say pumpkin spice lattes, or the peppermint mochas and all of those fun kind of holiday drinks, hot chocolate that has maybe more dairy and lactose than you're typically drinking and you may not even really be thinking about it right, because in drink form, sometimes we don't really think about what we're consuming as much as we would like in a food form. Even small amounts of those things, depending on what it's made of, could potentially trigger symptoms for you.
Another thing outside of meals is alongside routines and the changes, there is less sleep. Some people sleep more during kind of this time of year with winter, but some people also sleep less because of the holidays. And that could be because there are more gatherings, maybe because you are trying to wrap up work, maybe you are planning things outside of your normal routines, like your gifts or whatever it may be. If you're with your family maybe you stay up later to watch movies or to play games, maybe you're waking up earlier because you're in a new environment. But if you have less sleep, and even poor quality of sleep, that can actually impact your symptoms and impact how you feel, especially over time. If you are, let's say, you know, one night, it's not a big deal, but if you are missing sleep half of every week, you know that is going to add up and leave you not feeling your best.
There's also lower mood, typically with the change in weather and kind of the time. So while the holidays themselves can be very joyful for a lot of people, there's also seasonal affective disorder, right? SAD. A lot of people experience more depression just from that change in weather and so if you're also dealing with maybe more stress, from the things that are going on, maybe some mental and emotional stress from kind of coping with things and these emotions that you're feeling, because of the time of year and just what comes with that and now we're dealing with this change in weather where it's colder, it's darker, you're not getting some of those kind of feel good hormones that are being boosted, that can contribute to your symptoms, and then less activity either due to the plans and being busier, or due to the change in weather. So a lot of people do back off where you might not go for the morning walk or an evening walk as much, you may not go do active activities and hobbies on the weekend like you were doing during the summer time. Maybe you are a runner, hiker like that might not be happening. And so even without conscious thought or even an intention, it can be really easy for activity to slow down. If your body really does do well with consistent movement and activity and exercise, then that's something that could catch up and impact you.
So I want to go through kind of each of those things and contributors and give you a few tips for each but as you think through those contributors, I even encourage you to maybe pause and jot down okay, that connects with me, or jot down things that immediately come to mind like oh, less activity, yeah, this is something that worked for me in the past. Because what you experience in your body matters way more than anything I say and it is important that when you're hearing these tips that you're not just overloaded by every tip I give you, but instead, you're listening for the tips that connect with the things that you know make a difference for you. So if you know sleep is a big one that's highlighted, that's where I want you to listen.
So you can pause it, I'll be waiting.
Great, you're back. Let's go!
So dealing with travel, this was covered in episode four of this season in detail. So I recommend that you go review that episode, especially before a trip, as you're planning and organizing, so that you can feel prepared. The big takeaway there was to stick to your routines as much as possible and find ways to really build your routines and build in the strategies that work for you within those changing environments. You may need to set some boundaries there, which we talked about in the last episode with dealing with family, and then you may also decide to bring some snacks and really plan ahead on that. Maybe bring some ingredients and things like that that will help you.
Now in terms of emotions, and stressors, and all of that, it is important during this time of year to prioritize your mental health and self care. Now it can again, it can be easy to just think like the holiday season should be joyful. And if that's something that rings in your head, this kind of should be, I should be happy, I get to see my family, I should feel great, maybe you get a break from work, that does not mean that your mental health is going to be a good place. That alone is not as not like it doesn't equal out, right. So if you are sad, if you are stressed, if you are overwhelmed, if you are having any type of these kind of emotional reactions or these things going on in your body, you still need to prioritize your mental health and your self care. And honestly, you may need to prioritize that even more during a season like this, where there's a lot of chaos in the routines that changed sleep, all those different things.
So some ways you can do that, get your routines and self care in where you can, especially whenever you're with your family. So this may require you to be very intentional with your time, set some boundaries around your time, and communicate what you need so that you can prioritize it. So you may have to tell your mother or your father, like, hey, I really need to spend you know, the morning time focused on like my own self care. And it really helps me to have some kind of alone time in the morning, so if we make plans, can we make it after this time or, you know, whatever it may be. So really think about your self care and think about it, visualize it, how would this be implemented in these different environments. And even with like busier schedules, like maybe you have evenings that have been your normal self care time, but now your evenings are being taken up with plans and activities that you really want to go to, you may need to shift where that self care fits, maybe it's your lunch break, maybe it is between work and that activity, maybe it turns into the morning. Find ways to really, really support your mental health as much as you can. If you're in therapy, don't skip the therapy sessions during the holiday season, make sure to keep up with those so that you have that ongoing accountability and support.
Now when it comes to determining what you need to prioritize, you have to start by identifying what you actually need. So maybe it is the mental health in the morning, maybe it's your movement, maybe it's your alone time, maybe it's your sleep, maybe it's a slower day every now and then maybe it's I don't know, not having certain pressure to do certain things. I don't know what it may be for you, you have to determine that so I'd encourage you to journal through that. What have I learned about myself this year? And what kind of habits and things have really worked for me to help me feel calm and grounded? If I am feeling emotions or things come up, how have I learned to cope in a way that really does help me? And that's what you want to identify.
Once you've done that, then you want to communicate it and be confident in your communication so confidently say what you need, explain why if you need to, and then ask for support from those around you. So if that is your significant other, or maybe your co workers like if they're all about like eat all this stuff to finish the year, you can say you know what, it actually really matters for me to stick within my work day and I'm going to prioritize as much of my time during this work day as possible but working longer hours outside of it is not something that I'll be able to do and not burnout. Like I need to make sure that I am energized to show up my best and it's really important for me to clock out at this time, so if we schedule things, you know, at a different time, like it might be as simple as that. But make sure that you are communicating it.
And then once you communicate it, stick to it. So just like boundaries, reinforce what you've communicated, be intentional with the time that you have and don't feel guilty for taking time to yourself. This is especially true for those of you who have people you take care of like maybe children or maybe you're the person that does plan most activities for the family or whatever it may be, you're hosting, you're the one that your friends come to, maybe you are the leader or the manager or the boss, whatever, do not feel guilty for taking time for yourself. Remember that if you are empty and depleted, you will not show up as your best self to get to those people. And that is very true and so find ways, this isn't always going to be possible, there are certain scenarios where you don't have the time, and it's just not there and that is difficult and that's okay, but also, there are times where you can build that time in and there are people that can help kind of help support you, as well as help provide that space for you, so kind of help with the activities and the things so that you're not carrying that by yourself.
Do not feel guilty, know that taking care of yourself in those little increments will allow you to show up well for those people and that will also allow you to stick with the season, and not be completely burned out and just over it before we even get to Christmas, right? We don't want to do that.
And then set boundaries around it. This may be boundaries around added stressors, where you realize, you know what, I've got these extra stressors that are normally not in my week so I'm not going to take on these other things, which might be social media or, you know, friends that have drama, or whatever it may be for you, just kind of think through that.
So that kind of goes into your kind of coping mental health wise and your self care to kind of help with emotions, and regulating your nervous system and all that. But it's also important to think of strategies to help you cope with the fear of symptoms. This time of year can bring on a lot of fear because there's a lot of unknowns, where you're eating things you normally don't. Maybe you've had bad experiences in the past with some of these traditional meals and experiences and plans and so those might come up and be very loud in your head. Or maybe this is your first year with symptoms and you're like I don't know what to expect, what if, what if, what if, what if? You can what if yourself into the ground and completely paralyze yourself from taking any action or enjoying yourself and we don't want that.
Instead, we want to cope with the fear and address the fear so that you can feel more confident navigating things that may not be perfect. So if symptoms are still unpredictable for you, one thing I do want to say is that getting guidance is going to help you the most. So maybe a dietitian like myself or my team for your symptoms, maybe it's a therapist for some coping and mental health skills, maybe it is a doctor, you know, to do an evaluation. Getting guidance is really important, because a lot of this unknown, you're not going to feel competent around it and the fear is not going to go away until you know what's going on. And I wish there was a better answer than that and something more simple, but that is very true. And so, you know, it may not seem to make sense that this would be a season where you would bring on guidance, like why would you add something on top of your schedule, right? But what this could do is if you notice that the unknown is really kind of robbing you of these experiences and your time, then it would be worth it to shift things around and prioritize the guidance. So that is really important.
If no guidance is available, you can try keeping a journal for a couple of weeks, we have My Gut Journal, which is a 90 day kind of logging tool that kind of helps you make some correlations and that may help you decide what adjustments that you choose to make and that's going to help you with your confidence, because if you know that you're making adjustments that will help you prevent symptoms, it takes away this what if what if what if I don't know what to do, I don't want to do into actions that you're taking, which can make you feel somewhat in control even if those actions aren't perfect, it can still decrease some of that fear.
And then for the fear itself, you can also utilize specific therapies to help you with those skills and those tools. So cognitive behavioral therapy in Mahana, the Mahana IBS app is great for this. There's also gut directed hypnotherapy, which the Nerva app is good for. And those might be good tools that you can use throughout the season on your own time, in order to have some skills for dealing with some of this fear, these what ifs and those spirals that you might experience.
One of my favorite tools to use is actually journaling but doing it in a way that you're communicating and having a conversation with yourself. So this may be verbal journaling, where you're not even writing it down, but you're just talking to yourself. And what you can do is talk about your goals with your family and your friends. Talk about your plan of action if things come up, talk about the fears like don't just ignore them and let them eat your brain. Think about what they are and just write them down and say okay, this is the fear, what can I do about this? What support do I need here? That is something that you would do with your team but you can also do this with yourself and it can be really powerful. And then with that knowing what your fears are have a flare kit in place in case symptoms go up. We've talked about flares in the past, especially on Instagram have a lot of information about that and we also have a blog on flares.
Preperation and knowing you're taking action can help a lot with fear. Because if there is a what if that comes into your brain, if you have a flare toolkit ready, then you can answer that back by saying, I'm prepared, so if that happens, it won't won't be great, like, it's okay that it might be sad, it might be frustrating, it might be embarrassing, but I'm also prepared for it. A lot of times that can prevent the thing from happening, because you're feeling more again, more confident, prepared and stay steady in your day.
Now, what do you actually do about food. So there's a lot of ways that we can address food and it doesn't always mean you just make your own meals and don't eat anything else. That is an option if you want that, but that's not the only one. And so whenever we're talking about communicating your needs, and this is something we have to build a good muscle for, communicate with those that you care about, that you can also communicate your food needs. And this is super helpful for things like potlucks and family dinners.
If you know what your triggers are, you can ask your family members to make substitutions, make sure you give them the resources to do that, so if you're saying can you substitute garlic here are substitutes you can use, like really give them the resources, so it's easy for them to implement. Or you can ask them to label the ingredients in the meals or things that they make. So it's either having them accommodate if they're willing to do that, or at least kind of label it so that you know what's going to work for you or maybe what won't work really well for you. And that'll help you determine if you eat something or not and you can again, you get to choose, but you can also determine maybe the portion of something that you eat, If you think it has no lactose, but it really does, you may decide to have a smaller portion of that, really enjoy it, but then fill up on some other things that may work better for you.
Also, don't be ashamed to make options that will work for your body. Something I hear often, I hear this the most with like the low FODMAP diet, but even when we're thinking about things that are maybe wheat free or lower lactose or whatever it may be these substitutes, a lot of people think that that makes their food less than there's this like poor idea that those foods don't taste as good or that they're not as high of a quality as others. And so what and don't be ashamed to make it for yourself and you could truly just make things for you. Label it for yourself, put it aside, eat your own food, that's totally fine. You can also make things to share with others, I personally have found a lot of confidence and joy in being able to make things for my entire family that work really well for me, things that have lots of fiber, veggies, things that aren't as heavy, things that don't have a lot of dairy or lactose, like those are things that I enjoy making and it's really fun to be able to share that and know with confidence that my food is not less than and if anyone says anything, I've had that happen, I make a mental note that that's not my person, they do not support me and they're probably not someone I'm going to be really excited to share with in the future. They kind of lost that opportunity because if you're not going to respect someone I don't have to let them in to the things that I do in the future, I'll probably keep my distance and that is okay to do.
If you are looking for some recipes, we do actually have a holiday E cookbook. So you buy it, download it right away and there's a lot of traditional recipes that have been adjusted. They're lower FODMAP, I give examples of substitutes you can make, a lot of them have like a lot of fiber, they're not quite as heavy and so it's a lot of good ideas that either can kind of replace some traditional ones or just add a unique take on some other sides and things that you could present with your family. It's only $8 and so if you are interested in that, if you need some recipes to go to that I will put that in show notes for you. You can also search Pinterest and all of these amazing low FODMAP food creators or whatever it is that you're trying to work around or what works best for you. There are phenomenal options out there. If you're not doing alcohol, there's phenomenal alcohol free options and mocktails that you could go for so do not be afraid to use those.
And then in addition to the meals, pack snacks, and any other meals and things that you may need outside of the big meals. One big pitfall that people make is they think so much about Thanksgiving dinner, like the one meal, but they don't think about the rest of the day and so pack ingredients, get groceries that will work for you, pack snacks that work for you, like be prepared because that can make such a big difference.
If during the busy season you need, like meal delivery, if you're like, I just need things I can grab heat up and go like, outside of all my plans, I don't have time to make all these meals, then something like epicured or modify health for a low FODMAP option would work or you can look into some other kind of meal delivery options that would work for what you need.
And then how do you deal with the change in the weather and the sun? So we have shorter days, less sunshine, colder temperatures. And for some people, that's going to be extreme. I know me, I'm in Nashville, Tennessee and it's actually not that extreme, we have some pretty beautiful weather but that does get worse as we get closer to maybe January and February. And so what you can do, the darker mornings, one of the best things that you can do for your body is getting morning sunshine, it helful for hormones, your circadian rhythms and your gut. And so during the winter, darker mornings can take away that sunshine you typically get. So you can get the same value from something like a light therapy lamp. I'll add this to the show notes as well if you need an example of what that looks like, but sometimes they're called sad lamps, but they can kind of mimic that sunlight. And you could put these in your bathroom as you're getting ready or wherever you're spending kind of your morning with your routine. I have a big one in my like indoor gym. And so I usually go for a morning walk but if it's cloudy or dark, then I can have that as I might be working out or maybe walking on the treadmill instead of outside like I normally would, so that's a great way to get that sunlight.
What you can also do is try to get sunlight where you can, so maybe you get up in the morning, and it might be too cold outside, but if the sun is shining, like go sit by a window, or wrap up in a blanket and go outside and enjoy it even for a few minutes, it can make such a big difference.
For movement, explore some indoor movement options, especially if you are someone who knows that, you know, the colder weather takes away some of your activity. Think about your indoor movement. This is a great time to learn new movement patterns and new exercises like yoga, maybe bodyweight exercises, equipment based exercises. If you really want to connect with others and you need community because your mood is low, this is a great time to try like exercise classes in different like workout fitness studios. Again, try some places in your area to build friendships, connect with others, move without really having to think as much about it, those are all great ideas.
A lot of add home exercises are also great if you're dealing with a busier schedule. So if you need something that you can do while you're traveling, or something that you can do when you don't have a lot of time during the day, so maybe you can't go to a gym or class, you could do a fitness class online and that's really fun. One thing I always encourage clients to do is like make a list of studios and things either in person or online, find them through, you know, TikTok, Instagram, you ask people for referrals, and then try a bunch of free trials. And it's a great thing to do without spending a lot of money and just learning what do I like, what do I not like and then as you approach the New Year, the things that you really do love, they might have some specials and deals and things that you can take advantage of which can be really fun throughout the season.
And then also related to mood, if you notice your mood drops, be really intentional about building in joy during your day. Ideally, this is linked to your self care and not just linked to others, but this can also be separate from that. This might look like you know calls with friends, maybe listening to your favorite music on your commute, new hobbies that you try after work when you're at home, maybe your lunch break, you shift it up a bit, and maybe you read a book or you watch a TV show that you've been really excited about. Find ways to bring some joy and excitement to your day. It seems small, but it can make such a big difference, especially when things are busier and things are chaotic, and you're also dealing with the weather and then as you come off of the high of the holidays like in January where it kind of feels like you kind of hit that slump, that joy is going to stick with you and add value even when maybe there's not something to look forward to like the holidays were.
So I know the holiday season can impact everyone very differently. There's a lot that can happen. A lot of good, a lot of not so good and your gut may respond in a lot of different ways. I hope that these tips were helpful just for as you think about what you may do, maybe some ideas that you can try on and see if they work and I would love to hear how it works for you and what you would add so come on over to Instagram at @erinjudge.rd, comment on one of the posts connected to today's podcast episode or share your stories tag me, I'd be happy to share with my community but also hear what you have to say. And as you walk through the holidays, please tag me, message me, let me know how these tips and things have worked for you and maybe helping you you because I want to celebrate that with you as we wrap up the year.
So again, I hope you have the best holiday season and I am really, really grateful for everything that we've been able to do in this season so far as we come to an end, grateful for every single person, every review, every listen, every encouragement, every even silent takeaway where I may not even hear from you but you're using the information I'm sharing and you're getting value out of it. So grateful for you, thank you for tuning in, thank you for being part of my community and have the best season!